X is how he Signs
by HecateA
Summary: Sometimes its hard to admit you like someone...  And it's even harder when you're supposed to be stone and cement all over.  But sometimes its better to say it and to sign 'X' than to keep it inside.  Oneshot.


**So this idea sort-of came to me when I was reading The Son of Neptune. Gwen was just described as the best person to ever have around you, and one line was 'she could even control Dakota during his hyper bug-juice fits'. And this idea really shaped out last night. I looked and saw that nobody had done it before, so... Here I go!**

**Please forgive the spacing issuses between the couplet and quatrains of the poems and the fact that I took poetic liscence on their themes and rhyming patterns; keep in mind that I am not a true poet, and enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Camp Half-Blood, Camp Jupiter, any of their inhabitants or events or dramas and et cetera, et cetera- hurray everyon!**

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><p>You know; sometimes, when you spend your time being mostly insane and wacked up… People don't think you can be anything else. They make jokes, they build you a rep before you know it, and suddenly it's like you're not allowed to be anything else.<p>

So when you suddenly _become _something else… Well, there's not much you can do to show it, to have it taken seriously. There's not much you can do to convince people you're a dice with more than one sides, there's no way you can convince _her…_

Well that just gave it away.

Yeah. Dakota the sugar-drunk centurion just decided that he liked _her._

In all due respect; it was about time. How many years can a guy spend sitting there, with a girl next to him, when she's the sweetest, prettiest, nicest, happiest, most optimistic person on the face of the earth? And without realising that that was the most beautiful thing? Like, whenever they just so happened to be in New Rome and he saw her; she'd always be wowing at a little kid who'd be showing her something big and wow. Note how they _came_ _to her_ because they knew she was Gwen just like he knew she was. She was a big important centurion in shinning armour with an extra badge, like they all wanted to be one day; and she loved them too.

Well_ that_ gave the last piece of the puzzle away...

Yeah, okay, he liked Gwen. Ever hear that praetors got romantically involved a whole wack load of time because of how closely they worked? (Of course you did if you'd taken a step into New Rome because _somebody _had told you about Jason and Reyna slowly inching closer).

Centurions weren't that different. They weren't even seperated at night or by their duties; their duties were always together.

But that was it. She was his fellow Centurion. She'd figured him out when they were little kids and they'd become friends. She knew him. She'd stopped looking into him and she already knew it all better than anyone else. She wouldn't notice unless he did someting big and wow and generally impressive.

He'd have to get her to notice this.

But ask this to ten Roman guys: be locked in a room with a flesh-eating honey badger and a Swiss army knife as your only weapon; or tell a girl your emotions might start to show up even if you'd done a good job at staying clear away from them since you got to New Rome?

Honey Badger and Swiss army knife for sure.

So Dakota in that? Throw in two Honey badgers and make it a fork. He'd rather pick that.

But every now and then, you've got to man up and tell her. Or just drink _that _much Kool-Aid to provoke your mind and sanity into doing it.

So he pretended to be passed out on a rock, and since Jason wasn't there, Reyna was busy with Octavian since Jason wasn't there to make her life complicated, and Bobby was his sister (which was conveniently Gwen) in New Rome for the afternoon; nobody would come looking for him.

When most people had passed him without thinking anything about it; he sat up and took out a pad of paper, stamped in the corner with the eagle and the legion motto, and started writing.

It came easy. Bacchus might not be the god of poetry; but theatre was in. This was sort-of like theatre. Making words turn into something decent and pretty…

And when he went to sign his name at the bottom the pen quivered. He just couldn't trace the first stroke in the 'D' of his name. What if she thought it was hilarious? That would scramble up everything. She wouldn't take him seriously anymore, maybe she wouldn't respect his as fellow Centurion... Maybe she'd think this was pathetic or, or...

He quickly signed X.

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><p>Gwen was exhausted after the day she'd had. She barely had the energy to brush the waves from the braid out of her hair before crumbling into bed and pulling the covers over her head. Her only wish was a basic human need she'd ignored in these months of worry about Jason, and Reyna's stress overdose and ifwhen the praetor would crack, and et cetera, et cetera…

_Sleep_. She wasn't worrying about the nightmares now just _sleep for the sake of Juno!_

But when she pulled them out to sit in she saw a piece of paper folded. She might've cast it aside if her name wouldn't have been written on it, in pretty cursive handwriting.

_The sun dips below the night horizon_

_You take a deep breath of the cool night air_

_You're talking, but I can't pay attention _

_Because all I register is your flair_

_As the wind blows your hair to perfection_

_And your eyes shine bright and so ever clear_

_Your voice loses all of my attention_

_Because all I know is I like you here_

_It's just all those tiny things about you _

_The laugh, shine, smile even in the worst light _

_You probably don't even know you do_

_But beautiful, you are such a sweet sight _

_I love you now that I can really see_

_I love what you always are and will be _

_Love,_

_X_

Her jaw dropped. Somebody was. Somebody was really… Really… Someone had aligned these words and described the most beautiful girl in history. And they'd been thinking of her while they did.

She held it to her heart and probably got loony eyed. As a legacy of Cupid she'd grown up hearing about love, and love stories, and listening to love songs, and of course _dreaming _about if something like that would ever happen to her.

She smiled. It had.

And suddenly she couldn't sleep for the whole night, repeating the words of the poem over and over.

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><p>"What are you smiling about?" Dakota asked as Gwen came to sit down at breakfast.<p>

"Oh, nothing." She said. She was still smiling, and Dakota felt something bubble inside him. He'd seen her- all tired last night. She'd started to read. She'd frowned at first thinking 'what?' Then her face had melted, she'd smiled, she'd held it to her heart, and she'd woken up smiling the same smile that she'd gone to bed with.

"You're smiling." He said.

"It's nothing, Kota." She said.

"If it's nothing you wouldn't be smiling."

"I smile a lot Kota," she said. "It's just… Another day, a lot of things could happen, war games are tonight, and I'm feeling good."

"That makes one," mumbled a guy called Pablo.

"Hey- we can definitely turn it around!" Gwen said. See? Some part deep inside of Gwen must know that they were pre-screwed too, but she chose to shut it off to keep them going.

"So what are _you _smiling about?" She asked him, as a plate of waffles and fruit landed in front of her.

"Oh, nothing." Dakota said.

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><p>She was always so kind and gentle and so great at explaining everything to the new kids... He went to go sit with Percy Jackson <em>just <em>to see if he could score brownie points. But, Hazel Levesque and Frank Zhang? They weren't bad kids. Dakota didn't really hate them, he just had other friends in the cohort.

Over Percy's shoulder, he saw Gwen smile at him and wink.

This was totally awesome. He should do this more often. It also gave him the inspiration to write again.

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><p><em>Your smile keeps getting brighter and brighter <em>

_And it makes my heart and soul go lighter_

_I really start believing in it all_

_Since it'll be there; I don't care if I fall_

_Nothing I rather do than be with you_

_Doesn't matter what, when, how, or what we do_

_As long as I hear you, or feel you near_

_I don't care what monster it is I hear_

_So please don't ever change whatsoever_

_Because you'd just take away what's better_

_Don't dare try to change one of your features _

_Because what you've got is only nature's _

_I love you like you are and only that_

_And anybody who doesn't should scat _

_Love,_

_X_

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><p>Dakota had to do his best not to shout the second the stretcher with Gwen on it came out of the fort during the War Games- the first the cohort had won in a while. Her blood dripped from her armour like a faucet. Except it kept coming, and coming, and coming... Dakota nearly felt sick; but it wasn't the sight of blood. It was the sight of <em>her <em>blood.

"Help! Help!" Nicky from the fifth yelled. At least since he was her fellow Centurion, it was at least an excuse for him to run up to her with the medics, who tried everything they had. Trying to force nectar- which was risky considering she was a legacy, but necessary considering what had been done to her- down her throat, the enchanted nymph water that came from the aqueducts, gauze and powdered unicorn horn under her armour... But it just didn't work. Her face stayed the same. Ashen grey, unsmiling, so very, very... He wouldn't say it. You couldn't pay him to.

The head medic of Camp Jupiter looked up at Reyna and shook his head.

Dakota _lost _his.

How could someone kill Gwen? How could someone even _think _of hurting her like that? He could tell just by _looking _at how the pilum had went in that it was no accident! And then he'd _abbandonned _her there, bleeding and slipping away, while Dakota would have done anything to be with her and catch her and...

There was no sound as Dakota tried to keep himself from strangling every member of the first cohort; it was writen on the _pilum_. CHT I LEGIO XII F. He was scared to look at them to see who was missing a _pilum_.

Hannibal nussled her hair with his trunk. See? Even the freaking _elephant! _And Dakota nearly lost it at that, because the elephant just didn't get that Gwen was dead, and neither did Dakota, and nobody was saying a damn word when he felt himself slipping away too...

All he'd ever given her were those stupid poems signed X, and she was gone now...

Reyna's face was the dark iron face she put on when someone had not only went across the line; but had gotten to her personally too. Normally Dakota would feel sorry for that kid no matter what he'd done, but not this time. This time he'd pay to watch the fury that was Reyna unleash itself on whoever did this, and he'd even hold the kid down; see what it was like for _him _to fight an unfair battle.

"There will be an investigation. Whoever did this, you cost this legion a good officer. Honorable death is one thing, but _this..."_

_This _made the whole first cohort deserve a stay in the dungeon and a session of Chinese water torture, he thought angrily. Stabbed from behind. From behind! What a coward! What a son of a Gorgon, Minotaur crud thing to do! He wasn't sure what roared louder in Dakota's heart and brain right then; anger or grief or terrible sadness or...

Gwen gasped.

* * *

><p>She was leaving.<p>

He felt numb all over. Gwendolyn Holly was going to New Rome University to study in some ology that had to do with the brain, at last. They were both 17; but Gwen had been around since she was seven (hence why only the fifth had taken her; the first's lost). She'd done her ten years while Dakota still had three to go. It still came as a shock. Sure; he'd see her in the weekend, or after he'd finished his duties of the day. Maybe he'd sneak a peek at her when he walked to the senate, just maybe.

But tonight would be her last night in the barrack; she'd already moved her stuff into the University Dorm she was going to share with a girl that'd retired from the fifth cohort after the Siege of Mount Othrys.

He took a deep breath. This was going to be the last poem he'd slip under her covers.

He threw the covers back and saw that there was already something there.

_I love you so much_

_For even writing these poems_

_And slipping them here._

_For saying even shyly_

_That you loved me, _Dakota

And his heart sank.

Someone took the paper he'd been holding from behind. He spun around and saw a girl that made his heart drum like there was a rock-and-roll drummer in his chest, firing off. Hair brought back in a high ponytail that still tumbled down her back, blue eyes that sparkled with that sparkle you'd _think _a lot of people had but that nobody else but Gwen did… She wasn't smiling for once, but her head was cocked to the side like when she was just thinking, and she didn't look mad or amused either. Like what he'd been scared of. That didn't mean he felt anything short of a deer in the headlights, of course.

"Can I?" She asked holding the paper up. Dakota's insides tightened like there was a crank to them.

"I wrote it for you."

"I know," she said. There was a hint of a smile and she unfolded it, reading.

_You slip away even if you're still close_

_And I respect the path that you just chose_

_I was so scared when I saw your blood_

_And so I only thank that death was crud _

_I'm not going to be able to keep writing_

_But I am always going to keep loving_

_So just know that if you ever feel alone_

_So will I, in this forth, I hope I've shown_

_So just don't lose your smile or I'll be hurt_

_And work as hard as you always have worked _

_Just be yourself and you will thrive so much_

_I'll just say I knew you pre-fame and such_

_Even if my heart keeps shouting out, 'no'_

_But that's only for you and me to know_

_Love you,_

_X_

He watched her face melt like it had with the first poem, and his throat was compact all of a sudden. That was _him. He _was making her feel like that. He made her feel, just like she made him feel.

She looked up.

"You act like we'll never see each other again," she said. Dakota looked at his feet.

"Yeah, I know, but… You'll be there and busy, and here am I, and I'll be busy too because there's no way even Frank could be as amazing as you are..." Dakota said. "I was expecting you to meet a doctor or a lawyer and just get swept off your feet by someone who deserved to do the sweeping-off-her-feet."

Gwen was holding all the poems in her hands now.

"A doctor wouldn't write this," she said her head to the side and raising them a bit. The smile playing at her lips grew. "And he wouldn't make me feel like a million bucks either, Kota. And he wouldn't be so shy and cute about it that he'd sign 'X' as in 'anonymous'. He wouldn't be so sweet, he wouldn't have been my friend forever, and he wouldn't be so fun all the time, and a great listener… That's only you." She said.

He put a hand on her cheek and leaner in to kiss her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he put his other arm around her, holding her tight, like he'd never let go. He didn't know how long or deep the kiss was- things like time and space and people-will-come-here-before-muster-to-get-armour were all gone when he kissed her. She kissed him. Whatever, his brain melted too.

The kiss broke apart and their arms slid back from around the other.

"Guess I'll be able to tell the doctors and lawyers I'm dating a legionnaire," she said finally. Dakota grinned.

"Tell them he'll beat them up if they bother you." Gwen laughed, and Dakota felt like he'd just won the jackpot by making her laugh.

"Come on, we'll be late for muster." She said, squeezing his hand.

And for the first time… That idea didn't bother him. It was okay now. She knew, she liked him back, things were golden.

"Hey Gwen?" He called from the boy's side of the room.

"Yeah?" She asked.

"I love you." He said.

He didn't need to sign X when he said that either.


End file.
